To go along with my blog post about Top 5 Tips for Brides I thought I'd share my insights based on my over ten year experience as a wedding photographer about the Top 5 Things a Groom should know to make his Wedding Day unforgettable for both himself and especially his Bride (or Co-Groom.)
These are the things I've learned from witnessing how countless grooms have done it before. I've seen the best and the worst of it all.
Tip #1 - Yes, it is HER day
This one is a little more specific to het-grooms but if your co-groom has been dreaming of this day his entire life and fantasizing about it and he's being super particular about all the details of the floral decorations and what not, then listen up:
You have the most important SUPPORTIVE role in this whole production. She's the STAR, and you're the PRIZE. She's Julia Roberts, or Jennifer Lopez or (insert current Rom-Com protagonists, I haven't watched a Rom-Com since 2004) and you're Hugh Grant and Matthew McConaughey. You're the man she's been fantasizing about since puberty hit and your job is to be as close to what she imagined as possible. That doesn't mean don't be you, it means you play the ROLE as well as you can.
The most important part of that role is saying "yes" constantly. She wants the ceremony outside even though it's 40 degrees out because she always wanted an outdoor wedding and this is her one chance? You find a way to make that happen. She wants you two to write your own vows and recite them to each other in front of everybody? Better get over your stage fright.
If your Bride (or Co-Groom) has been looking forward to this day their entire life, you better believe they will be looking backward at it the rest of your marriage, and if you were the person getting in the way of their vision by constantly refusing to do the things she wanted, she'll remember, and she'll bring it up during every fight going forward.
That being said...
Tip #2 - Don't let her ruin her own day
Being a good support doesn't mean being an enabler. Things will go wrong and it's up to you to keep her perspective positive.
If it rains and ruins her dream of an outdoor wedding tell her you'll make it up to her and keep her guessing about how, and remind her every time she seems down about it throughout the day, and then when there's inevitably a break in the clouds during the reception, sneak her outside really quickly and reiterate your vows to her, take her ring off, put it back on and kiss her. Your job is to make her vision happen, even if it doesn't match it exactly.
Tip #3 - One Shot
It's entirely natural to have nerves on your wedding day and one of the best ways to take the edge off is a little liquid courage.
But the cardinal sin of groom-hood is being too drunk to function. Limit your intake pre-ceremony to a single shot of your finest with your groomsmen, and resist the temptation (and the peer pressure) to keep going. This is a wedding, not a frat party. You will need to be able to recite your vows without slurring your words, and if you pass out before the processional you'll find yourself a bachelor before night's end.
But...
Tip #4 - One Chaser
That doesn't mean you're in the clear after your "I do's." There's family pictures to be taken, the entrance into the reception to not stumble through, maybe a speech to give, etc.
Crack open a beer once you've come back down the aisle, and nurse it until dinner is served. Then, once the cake is cut, get sh*tfaced and PAAARTY!!
Just kidding, drink responsibly of course.
Tip #5 - Choose the Best MEN
You had wingmen for your single life, men that made you look good, that supported you through the hard times, gave you bravery when you needed it, and ultimately helped you become the man you are today.
When it comes to choosing the wingmen for your wedding day remember those men from every aspect of your life that mean the most to you. Give them (small) duties to make them feel important and give them all a gift that will help them remember why you and they are such good friends.
And most importantly: in those times between ensuring that your bride has her dream wedding, make sure you make enough new memories with her and with them so that you have awesome (embarrassing) stories to tell at their weddings.
Most Importantly: Be Present
Your wedding day will be one of the most important days of your relationship with your future spouse, and even though you may not have dreamed about what it would be like your whole life, it will be one of the days that you will remember for years to come, so...pay attention, make sure your bride has the wedding of her dreams, but be there WITH her as well as for her, because the most important part of making HER day the best day is by making sure it's both of yours.
Comments